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Accenture just did a global study with some disturbing findings: 42% of people would pay to block digital ads.

Glass-half-full types will say, “Yes, but 58% wouldn’t pay to block us!”

True, but they aren’t exactly welcoming, either.

So, why do they hate us? Because there are too many ads that are intrusive and obnoxious, and many are not well-targeted with little relevance to the viewer.

We’re firing machine gun blanks at point blank range.

Of course, there are ad blockers, which more and more people have, especially youngers ones. Technology has solved the technologically-enabled problem of annoying digital advertising.

And for those who don’t block ads, well, they just make behavioral judgements on sites: if the contents’ value doesn’t outweigh the obnoxiousness factor of the digital pestering, they avoid the site altogether.

It’s a problem, marketers, and it’s only going to get worse. Are we helping people with potentially relevant, beneficial messages, or, are we annoying the crap out of impatient innocents who will grow to despise our ads and by extension our products?

We need to be smarter in where we appear, and more empathetic to our viewers with our offerings.

Otherwise, we’re royally and digitally screwed.

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If you’ve been around marketing or sales for more than forty-six minutes, you’ve heard the expression “What’s in it for me?” to describe the mindset of your prospect.

WIIFM is the human default signal. We process the world in selfish terms–– how does this product or service, this action, bring me something beneficial? It’s our survival instinct.

And WIIFM has never been truer, or the signal stronger, than today.

Because now each of us is not only assaulted with messages in media everywhere, we are also each our own media conglomerate.

We broadcast on our channels–– Facebook, YouTube, Pinterest, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, LinkedIn, and so on. We build our personal brand’s marketshare, fan bases, loyal followers, and yes, even trolls and haters.

Naturally, when you’re running your own media company, you can get narcissistic and selfish with your attention. So, marketers must be selective and smart with their messages.

A distracted audience is extremely tough to win. Be empathetic to its needs and be certain you’re broadcasting messages to resonate with the only frequency they are tuned into 24/7.

And it’s tougher than ever getting advertising on that station.

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Our business practices get uglier and uglier.

Witness the recent actions taken by Christian Meunier, the new sales and marketing chief for Nissan in the U.S. AD AGE reported he gathered his team and the brand’s agencies together in a room and told them their work for the company “was shit.”

He gave them a week to make it better. They humped, showed him their efforts, and he still declared it “shit” and demanded more work. Ándale! Ándale!!!

They humped some more and created something that finally satisfied their demanding overlord.

Look, this guy has every right to be upset with his agencies if he doesn’t like the work, but to report his macho man actions to AUTOMOTIVE NEWS (and later AD AGE) is an ugly, cruel, and dare I say, even dickish move. How is that good for anyone’s business?

Nissan’s agencies are publicly shamed. The auto brand is tarnished. And he, he comes off looking like a total jerk on a power play.

Why didn’t he go and give the CMO he replaced a quick one to the crotch and some rabbit punches to the kidney for leading Nissan’s agencies, then approving their “shit work” for the brand?

On the plus side, which Will Burns of Forbes has pointed out, Meunier did not do what most new marketing chiefs do: call for an account review. Then, the incumbent agency gets to jump through rings of fire before being cast into hell, where the poor pathetic bastards can search for the snowball’s chance they had of retaining said business.

Yeah, for not doing that, the guy’s a real prince.

Where’s the empathy, professionalism and decency for one another?

People, our business is tough enough–– can’t we, at least, be civil?

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For nine years, he gave me hope for our business.

“The Most Interesting Man In The World” campaign for Dos Equis is my favorite on air and has been since its introduction. But the client/agency recently announced they are taking The Most Interesting Man out back and burying him.

Sending him to Mars, actually, so we won’t be regaled with his tales of infinite interestingness.

I don’t always cry in my beer, but when I do, I prefer to cry into Dos Equis.

The brand says the campaign will continue with a younger “Most Interesting Man In The World”–– good luck with that. It’s not like finding a comic to occupy Col. Sander’s white suit. We’re talking a legend here!

Are they killing the elder Most Interesting Man because the actor Jonathan Goldsmith is 77? Is this pure ageism? Does the brand think millennials can’t connect with an elder statesman?

Someone tell Bernie Sanders–– the kids are faking feeling the Bern.

Does anyone recall Bartles and Jaymes? Hal Riney created the top wine cooler brand with a couple of old farts on a porch and sold millions of gallons of the stuff for Gallo.

Still, The Most Interesting Man In The World is getting canned and will be replaced by a newer model. It’s a sad day in adland.

While he pimped the brand, TMIMITW put up some impressive stats: Dos Equis sales almost tripled, and case sales were up 10% last year, plus the dude became a pop icon, internet meme, boss daddy god.

And for these successes, he got two in the skull.

The beautiful thing about the campaign was this: it could have been for just about any brand. You can debate this point, but the reason the effort succeeded was that it knew it was b.s. from the beginning. The campaign wasn’t rooted in the product (he could have worked for many products), but he became the embodiment of what the brand became. It was brilliant writing, casting and execution, played straight with the ultimate humble, truthful and disarming almost-but-not-quite-call-to-action, “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.”

No talk of barley, hops, artesian craftsmen or bespoke brew. Just a man we loved because he was better than us and always will be.

I don’t think for a minute he’ll be growing potatoes on Mars. He’s dead, but like The Swedish Bikini Team, he will live on in pop culture and our memories.

Howard Gossage said, “People don’t read ads, they read what interests them. And sometimes that happens to be an ad.” The same is true of commercials–– we’ll watch what’s interesting. And The Most Interesting Man In The World was pretty damned interesting. He will be missed.

Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Everyone agrees that most advertising today is pretty damn awful. It’s boring, cliched, sophomoric, confusing, insulting, moronic, self-serving, and pointless. And that’s on good days.

Why is that, how does advertising get so bad?

Was it the strategy? Was the communications objective bogus–– wishful thinking based on “hoping” for desired action?

Was the account management team to blame? Did they not speak up and engage in vigorous discussions because they were more interested in having ‘good meetings’ and kumbaya client interactions? Were they afraid to be consumer advocates?

Was it the creative team’s fault? Were creative people more interested in doing something wild just to be different rather than creating something that would engage consumers? Were they lazy and created unexciting, expected work easy to ignore?

Was it the media team? Was the work seen in all the wrong places by all the wrong people at all the worst times?

Was it the clients who screwed the pooch? Did they force an unrealistic expectation for the work based more on corporate objectives than consumer need? Did they strangle the life out of a concept to avoid controversy (or being noticed)?

It could be any of those, some of them, and yes, sometimes all of the above.

Think about it. Call “B.S.” when you see trouble brewing. Discuss and work it out.

We all have a responsibility to the public we’re seeking attention from. And let’s all remember the wise words of Sgt. Phil Esterhaus of “Hill Street Blues”––

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Yesterday, I was talking with my business partners about the state of marketing communications today (yes, we’re that boring), and one partner made the astute observation that brand advertising is like religion–– you either believe in it, or you don’t.

Some people don’t believe brand advertising works anymore. It’s a dinosaur, dead, obsolete. They believe in science, the wonders of numbers–– metrics, measurements, and hard data.

These marketers think there must always be a stimulus-response mechanism. Or, they sincerely believe they can engage consumers on social media about their product or service and people will gladly spread the good word to others.

It’s a nice fantasy, and sometimes people will do what you want––if you have a truly unique and wonderful offering, or you give them an incentive, but the average human has better things to do than perform your marketing for you.

To bastardize Mark Twain, the reports of brand advertising’s death have been greatly exaggerated.

Yes, we’re beyond the shooting fish in the barrel days when there were only three networks and a handful of publications enabling a marketer to reach the mass of humanity.

Now, the media buffet is endless, and every day it seems the menu is expanded.

That said, smart and empathetic messages served to the right audience at the right time still have power. Brand advertising that gives people a good reason to consider a product on an emotional or rational level still works in the mass media.

And let’s face it, how many brands became famous without brand advertising?

Yes, sisters and brothers, listen as I preach from the pulpit. I ask you to believe, I WANT you to believe–– believe in the powers of brand advertising! Our industry is evolving, devolving, morphing before our very eyes, but do not underestimate the incredible powers of great brand advertising.

And if you’ll contribute to the collection plate going around, we’ll be happy to help you in your mission of spreading your word.

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Author and philosopher king Kurt Vonnegut was a master of empathy. He understood, appreciated and valued the human condition.

He knew the sadness fate can deal. As a young man, his mother committed suicide on Mother’s Day 1944. As a soldier, he was a prisoner of war who survived the firebombing that destroyed Dresden (read “Slaughterhouse-Five”). His sister Alice died of cancer within hours of her husband’s death in a train crash.

That’s a lot of tragedy for a young man to bear, but Vonnegut did and became a student of humanity adopting a Zen-like acceptance of all that life deals.

“So it goes,” he wrote. And so it went.

Like all great artists, he explored what it means to live and how we get through our days. He said, “A plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit.” And so he did.

One of his ongoing themes was the challenge of battling loneliness. He counseled, “Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.”

He also asked, “What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.”

Vonnegut knew people craved connection. He preached the need for extended families. He felt a nuclear family alone couldn’t provide enough love for what humans demand.

“There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look,” he said.

He had said all these wise things before there was such a thing as social media that made it easy for people to connect. Now we live with social media monkeys on our backs, but that is hardly the true connection we need.

It’s human nature to want to connect and share. Keep that in mind when creating your marketing materials. Are you providing something of value, or simply serving yourself?

Vonnegut believed we needed to share our experiences. He also said, “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion . . . I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”

In closing, here are a few more Vonnegut quotes to live by: “We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”

“I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.”

“Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.”

“There’s only one me, and I’m stuck with him.”

“I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.”

“If you want to really hurt you parents, and you don’t have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possible can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.

“Science is magic that works.”

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.”

“Until you die… it’s all life.”

And now, a few words from the master of empathy on stories. Enjoy.

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Pity today’s chief marketing officer–– given the task of promoting a company or brand to the public. A public with a shrinking attention span who are overworked and over-hyped, and overwrought with fear mongering news stories played 24/7.
 
The CMO has his/her work cut out. But many marketers complicate matters more by doling out assignments and responsibilities to a cavalcade of vendors: the traditional ad agency, digital agency, social agency, design agency, minorities agencies, CRM agency, direct agency, media planning agency, media buying agency, P.R. agency, choose-whatever-flavor-specialty-you-like consultants and so on…
 
These unfortunate marketing souls are trying to build a strong brand by spinning plates with a variety of resources.
 
Every agency/partner/vendor is scrumming for more marketing dollars from the CMO; each vying for more responsibilities and revenue. It’s especially amusing when global network agencies battle each other to beef-up their P&Ls (there’s no “i,” “p” or “l” in “team”).
 
It’s like a brood of children trying to get the attention of their parent. With this eclectic crew of players, the CMO must act as the conductor striving to get the various notes blending beautifully together for harmonious brand messaging.
 
In short, it’s a nightmare.
 
As a creative director, I can attest to the difficulty of keeping brand messages ‘on brand’ within just one office, let alone many offices scattered across times zones. 
 
It’s human nature for every person involved to think and believe that he/she has the answer to every marketing challenge. People come with egos as standard equipment. 
 
And creative people? Creative people create. And they will re-create just to create.
 
All these factors make it a herculean task for the CMO to herd, cultivate and curate a consistent brand message.

So, where to begin? With a small team of brainiacs, ones you trust and like. A group with relevant expertise and proven empathy and understanding of people.

A team with deep digital expertise, not content to rest on the laurels of current analytics, but always pushing to improve scores. And beat those.
 
Working together with your team, map out a game plan. The marketing landscape is cluttered, there are many ways to reach consumers, but not all of them make sense–– and none of them are going to work with crappy messaging.
 
To bastardize a famous quote, “It’s the content, stupid!” Work to make sure the soil is prepared and plant the seeds of success. Then, be ready to improvise because things change.
 
Marketing would be so much easier if only humans were predictable.

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People know the stakes when their show stops for a commercial break, or their magazine article is continued on another page and they must pass advertisements to get to it.

That’s life. Advertising makes media cheaper, and in return, does its best to catch your attention and make the case for why you need the product or service.

It’s quid pro quo. We may not like seeing antacid ads when our tummies are calm, but the brand is banking it can make an impression you’ll remember in the aisle of CVS when it feels like you’ve had a fire appetizer with razor blade entree.

We know and accept the rules of traditional advertising. But pop-up ads and harvesting our digital trails to barrage us with messages based on our searches, that’s a different thing. Our patience wears thin, especially when we’re the ones paying for the data used to assault us.

Subjects that were once of interest suddenly become ravenous packs of annoying digital stalkers, interrupting us in ingenious ways, trying to trick us into going into their vortex of selling.

(click) WHOOPS–– DAMMIT, THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT! GET ME BACK TO THE PREVIOUS PAGE–– FAST!!!

Marketers must consider that the rules are different online. Time moves much slower (do you tolerate slow-loading pages?).

Your patience is much shorter (“get to the point!”).

Messages that use tricks and try to hijack people are hated and resented (what product or service needs that hurdle to leap?)

Be smart when advertising in the traditional media and especially the digital media. Be empathetic, understanding, and decent.

This public service brought to you by Ames Scullin O’Haire Advertising. May we be of service?

Thank you.

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Last night was the big game for advertisers, the most eyeballs all year on screens anxious to watch commercials during the Super Bowl.

Companies paid five million bucks for thirty seconds of real estate, and sad to say, most flushed their money down the toilet.

Never before has so much been invested for so much borrowed interest and attention deficit spending. It was an endless parade of celebrities and iconic songs and huge production value computer generated razz-a-ma-tazz, which all added up to little.

I’m not snarky here. I’m honest. Was this the best our industry could do? Renting someone else’s fame, borrowing their popularity for a lame joke and slapping a logo on it? Apparently so. That was the formula for the majority of spots.

It’s a sad commentary on the state of advertising.

Where were the spots investing in an idea, elevating a brand? There were a few–– Persil laundry detergent and the Colgate ‘don’t waste water’ spot come to mind, but these were hardly great moments in advertising. Just simple messages that had some product relevance.

I haven’t looked for the USA TODAY scorecard this morning. I will, but it won’t change my opinion of what I saw last night. The spots had little humanity, empathy, or relevance to the products; it was depressing. It made me wonder if corporate America’s marketing was more focused on social channels.

That’s small change for a five million dollar investment, not to mention production costs.

Fortunately, there was a pretty great football game being played, to cleanse the mental palate of the awful commercials.

Now I’ll read USA TODAY and see how wrong I am.

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