Empathy 101: Essential For The Survival of Humanity

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This is my one-hundredth post for this marketing blog, and obviously, my pontifications have been abject failures.

The amount of empathy exhibited in society is awful, as is the quality of marketing work. This isn’t coincidental.

How can anyone create something engaging and worthwhile when one doesn’t understand the audience–– its troubles, needs, and desires?

Here is the story of one of the best quotes I’ve ever heard about empathy. Perhaps it will help you in life or your career.

The story takes place in the winter of 1979, inside Annie’s One Eyed Jack’s Saloon in Akron, Ohio. I was a twenty-two-year-old punk copywriter who befriended a giant of a man in his early fifties named Ed at the bar. He was in radio sales. I was Robin to his Batman (no tights, honest). Ed and I became Monday night regulars for sessions of beer, B.S., and philosopher kinging.

One Monday, Ed told me he had taken his family to a Unitarian church on Sunday. “What’s that,” I asked. “I’ve heard of Unitarians but what do they believe?”

“Unitarians study the teachings of Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Einstein, Newton, Nietzsche–– all the great philosophers and thinkers of history.”

“Yes,” I said. “But what exactly do they believe? I was raised Catholic with lots of dogma, rules, and regulations. What do Unitarians believe? What’s their dogma?”

Ed considered my question, sipped his Miller Lite and took a long drag on his Winston. He exhaled a fog of smoke and turned to me. “Well,” he said, “I guess it boils down to this–– don’t be a shit.”

That was it. “Don’t be a shit.” Four words, one profound behavioral belief system.

‘Don’t be a shit’ is the Golden Rule put on a diet. It assumes you know good from bad (you do, don’t you?). It’s a code of ethics that takes into account you should consider your actions and their effects on others, and act accordingly, responsibly.

Those four words are profound. Crude, yes, but profound.

Imagine what a wonderful world it would be if people weren’t shits. It’s enough to make you want to write Hallmark cards.

‘Don’t be a shit.’ I implore you to remember those four words when you approach any assignment. Remember there is an audience at the other end of your work, and be empathetic to them.

If not, that audience won’t stick around or be swayed. And you’ll feel like shit.

Here’s to you, Ed. Cheers!